


LONELINESS

by ghoulromantism



Category: Tokyo Ghoul
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Gen, M/M, Neopronouns, Sasaki Haise - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-17
Updated: 2019-12-17
Packaged: 2021-03-01 23:08:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 455
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23925130
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ghoulromantism/pseuds/ghoulromantism
Summary: Haise has trouble dealing with loneliness.
Relationships: Kaneki Ken | Sasaki Haise/Original Character(s)





	LONELINESS

**Author's Note:**

> Im projecting extremely hard there buut im very proud!!!! this is the first thing i've written in a long ass time

It was dark outside. It was perhaps too late for anyone to still be up, or maybe it was still too early for anyone to have woken up.

Yet Haise was still awake. Pandora was sleeping peacefully next to him, aer soft face illuminated by the light of the streets coming through the small window above aer head. Despite aer loving presence in every moment of his daily life, he couldn’t help but be overwhelmed by loneliness and emptiness at times. In these moments he lay awake, staring at the ceiling, unable to think about anything but how strange his feelings were, how none of them made sense, how he wished he could be in peace with his mind like everyone else seemed to be.

He got up, passing a hand through his white hair. He could barely make out his reflection in the bathroom mirror. There were scars all over his cheeks and his torso, and marked dark circles around his eyes, which bore a deep and undescribable expression of despair, so deep, yet so faint, his eyes almost looked emotionless. He was still unfamiliar with all the changes his body had gone through in the last few months. He was feeling lonely. He wished to go back to simpler times, when Arima and Akira were teaching him and there was nothing for him to doubt, but he knew that wouldn’t fix his problem. The emptiness, the loneliness, they had seemingly always been a part of him. That sinking feeling in his chest had always been present. Despite all of his friends, despite his lover, despite his newfound family, the glaring hole inside of him couldn’t be filled. Maybe he just had to live with that feeling, the crushing, overwhelming, unending, despairing loneliness, numbness, emptiness, the paralyzing fear of never being enough. It had always been stronger in the darkness of the night, and in these moments, its weight on his chest was so heavy he was suffocating. It was like drowning, or like being stabbed by a thousand swords.

He was restless. He couldn’t even cry to release his emotions. He just had to wait for them to go away, or at least to quiet down enough for him to sleep.

He splashed some water on his face and shook his head. He at least had to try to get some sleep. He went back into the bedroom and as he sat on the bed, he felt Pandora sleepily wrapping aer arms around him. He didn’t have to say a word. Ae knew the kind feelings he was struggling with all too well. And in that moment, Haise felt glad that at least, he didn’t have to be alone when facing his fears.


End file.
